Questions to ask Yourself When Looking for a New Therapist

If you are reading this you are likely looking for a new therapist. Congratulations on making this decision to come to therapy! That is not easy, and you are already one hard part done. Choosing to begin (or begin again) isn’t easy, and it says a lot about your care for yourself that you’re here.

Finding the right therapist matters. It is important that you feel comfortable with your therapist so that you get the most out of your experience. Therapy is not always going to be sunshine and rainbows (wouldn’t that be nice?) but with a therapist who can match your personality and make you feel safe and held, therapy can be impactful, healing, and even life-changing.

Before you meet with a potential therapist, you may want to pause, reflect and ask yourself a few questions.

1. What do I want to work on in therapy? 

What is your why? Did something happen that sparked your decision to come? What was it? If this question feels hard to answer, try asking yourself:

• What do I wish were different in my life right now?
• What feels heavy, stuck, or overwhelming?
• What am I hoping will feel easier with support?

You don’t need perfectly worded goals—just a general sense of what you’re longing for. This reflection can be helpful when creating goals together with your therapist. Also, allow for this to change and emerge as you continue your work together. 

2. What do I enjoy about my life and want more of? 

Therapy is just as much about building on what’s already working for you. Having an idea of what is working well in your life and what brings you comfort can be an important foundation for therapy. If any of those things are tangible objects, like a stone, a soft blanket, a fidget, or a pet, you may consider bringing them with you for your therapy session. 

3. What qualities am I looking for in a therapist? 

Every therapeutic relationship is unique, and it’s okay to have preferences.

You might reflect on questions like:

• Do I want a therapist trained in a specific modality or approach?
• Do I want someone with a shared identity or lived experience?
• Do I prefer a therapist who is more structured, or more conversational?
• What helps me feel safe, seen, and understood?

It can be helpful to make a list of your non-negotiables, followed by qualities that would be nice to have but feel more flexible.

In this blog post, we covered questions you might ask yourself when starting a new therapy relationship, but now let’s talk about what to ask your new therapist. 

Initial consultations are a chance for you to get a feel for whether a therapist is a good fit. As always, trust your gut and stay curious. 

Here are some questions you might ask a potential new therapist: 

• What does a typical therapy session with you look like?
• What are your guiding principles or values?
• What is your experience working with ________?
• How would you hold ________ in therapy?
• How do you collaborate with clients on goal setting and pacing?